Let this be noted. The day I stopped writing letters to you, was the day I started writing letters to myself.
I write, not in memory of your existence. I write, of the consequences that your love has done, that very day you decided to leave. I write, of the struggles that made counting from days of missing you to days of my renew. I write of the memories that I forced to forget, but now have become the very reminders of my resilience as a being. I write because I became a better person, not because of you… but because of me. Me, the person who chose to set forth the dangers of moving on. Me, the person who chose to face pain, and not let be swallowed by it. Me, the person who wrote, because writing is my sanctuary, my escape, my growth.
Let this be noted. I write no longer because of you. Because I have started to write for me.
““We exchanged our least favorite word, mine ‘moist’, and yours ‘almost’. And when I asked you why, you said it was because ‘almost’ hailed failed potential, that it represented our ability to be just not good enough, that we had come to the brink of something beautiful… but fell short so many times we crafted a word for it.”
I hate that i’m falling for you, when i’m not supposed to.
I hate that she’s my friend, because then you came along.
I hate that we met too late, for now i can’t kick her out of your mind.
I hate that despite my knowledge of you choosing her over me, i’m still wishing.
I hate that our timing’s not perfect.
I hate that i’m even hoping for a possibility of us.
When all efforts I made in the past seem to not matter, for such efforts lead to consequences that are not enough in the eyes of other people. They always say it’s not your job to please others. They were wrong. I’ve come to realize that pleasing people will be inevitable for one’s own survival in this world.
I’m wondering if i still have anything in my system to get through this sem. I have to please my teachers.
There are moments that leave you effortlessly happy. Moments that leave you with peaceful disposition, enough to keep your mood light for the rest of the night. Moments that come from the simplest of things, moments that remind you that life is good when you least expect it.
"i’ve defeated my demons with a little hex i learned in chemistry and my secret: write. when you’re sad, write. when you’re angry, write. when you feel lonely, write. when you lose someone dear to you, write. when you’re bored, write. when you get your heart ripped right out of your chest, write. just write, write, and write. i have learned that you can’t create nor destroy the negative energy crawling inside your wretched veins so turn them into poetry, make them beautiful, generate something good out of life’s misadventures."