"i’ve defeated my demons with a little hex i learned in chemistry and my secret: write. when you’re sad, write. when you’re angry, write. when you feel lonely, write. when you lose someone dear to you, write. when you’re bored, write. when you get your heart ripped right out of your chest, write. just write, write, and write. i have learned that you can’t create nor destroy the negative energy crawling inside your wretched veins so turn them into poetry, make them beautiful, generate something good out of life’s misadventures."
Imagine waking up from an all nighter. You were forced to sleep at 6 am in the morning writing a paper due the next day, a routine so familiar to a person who knows procrastination so well. You only had 4 hours of sleep; most likely, you woke up at the wrong side of the bed. Your tummy grumbles, you’re very hungry. Your last meal was more than 12 hours ago. Unfortunately, you can’t even grab a bite, because you woke up late and had to prepare for class that afternoon. So… goodbye meal. You go to school: tummy empty, head throbbing, eyes heavy. You pass your paper. It’s been 13 hours since your last meal. You decide to grab a quick snack, a snack you’ve been craving for weeks. And since your day started bad, it continues to be bad. You had to wait 30 minutes before the food you’ve been craving arrived. 13 hours and 30 minutes with an empty stomach, how heartbreaking. But you finally take a bite, and every bad emotion fleets. Heaven, you’re now happy.
This is what finally meeting you might feel like.
A birthday celebrated during my childhood meant kisses, and hugs and presents from family members. It meant spaghetti with classmates, and ofcourse, a pretty cake with the best icing on top. A visit to the church with the entire family to thank the Lord for another year will never be missed. It always ended with a birthday song, candle lit, a candle blown, and a wish.
A birthday celebrated during my teenage years meant hugs and greetings from family members. It meant text messages from classmates, and of course, calls from relatives from afar. A visit to the church with the entire family to thank the Lord for another year will never be missed. It always ended with a kiss and hug from my parents, and a goodnight’s sleep.
A birthday celebrated yesterday meant greetings from my family members. It meant facebook messages from ”friends”, and a birthday song from strangers I just met. I no longer received calls, but instead got viber messages. A visit to the church was no longer with my family, it was just me and God, talking for some time. It ended with me facing the computer, thanking the virtual world for that day’s messages.
Birthdays used to be so magical. I guess growing up really is sad.
p.s. I had an awesome birthday though. It no longer meant celebrating the day with the world. It meant celebrating the day with people who matter. I just wanted to write my observations through the years in a sad tone. :)
I hate waiting, and waiting for you is becoming crazier as each day passes. You have no idea how much effort it takes to watch my heart lose faith each day.
I hate waiting, and I’m waiting for a certainty that feels so blurry at the moment. You’re there. I’m here. I don’t understand why time has to keep us apart.
I hate waiting. My heart’s bursting with so much agony. If they can have love, why can’t I? How cruel the world can be.
I hate waiting. I can just imagine what meeting you will feel like. Floating. Dreaming. My heart bursting into shattered pieces, making way, welcoming you in a place that was waiting, waiting for forever.
I hate waiting. But i will, for i know you will be worth it.
When time comes when we finally realize we’re meant for each other, i’ll probably cry tears of joy. Coz waiting will finally cease.