It’s not you, It’s me.

Let this be noted.
The day I stopped writing letters to you,
was the day I started writing letters to myself.

I write, not in memory of your existence.
I write, of the consequences that your love has done, that very day you decided to leave.
I write, of the struggles that made counting from days of missing you to days of my renew.
I write of the memories that I forced to forget, but now have become the very reminders of my resilience as a being.
I write because I became a better person, not because of you…
but because of me.
Me, the person who chose to set forth the dangers of moving on.
Me, the person who chose to face pain, and not let be swallowed by it.
Me, the person who wrote, because writing is my sanctuary, my escape, my growth.

Let this be noted.
I write no longer because of you.
Because I have started to write for me.

September 25, 2014.

Sep 25th  +  1

We exchanged our least favorite word, mine ‘moist’, and yours ‘almost’. And when I asked you why, you said it was because ‘almost’ hailed failed potential, that it represented our ability to be just not good enough, that we had come to the brink of something beautiful… but fell short so many times we crafted a word for it.

Sep 24th

I hate this part right here.

I hate that i’m falling for you, when i’m not supposed to.
I hate that she’s my friend, because then you came along.
I hate that we met too late, for now i can’t kick her out of your mind.
I hate that despite my knowledge of you choosing her over me, i’m still wishing.
I hate that our timing’s not perfect.
I hate that i’m even hoping for a possibility of us.

September 06, 2014.
Feelings, palayo.

Sep 7th  +  2

These days when I doubt myself.

When all efforts I made in the past seem to not matter, for such efforts lead to consequences that are not enough in the eyes of other people. They always say it’s not your job to please others. They were wrong. I’ve come to realize that pleasing people will be inevitable for one’s own survival in this world.

I’m wondering if i still have anything in my system to get through this sem. I have to please my teachers.

August 31, 2014.
Midterms grades.

Aug 31st
#disappointed  #lawschool  

There are moments that leave you effortlessly happy. Moments that leave you with peaceful disposition, enough to keep your mood light for the rest of the night. Moments that come from the simplest of things, moments that remind you that life is good when you least expect it.

August 30, 2014.
Bad day.

Aug 31st  +  1

You again,

I can’t wait for the day when memories of you will start ringing in my head while listening to these crazy cheesy love songs.

I can’t wait for the day I finally hear your voice, reading these letters i’ve been writing since god knows when.

I can’t wait for the day I feel lonely, lonely without your presence. Then happy, happy for the longing has ceased.

I can’t wait.

Eerrrrrr waiting’s cruel.

August 26, 2014 

Aug 26th
forever thirdwheel. 
sometimes fifth wheel. 
other times 7th wheel.
…3, 5, 7. 
when will i belong to the even number group?
Aug 21st

I am so in love with heartbreak stories.
Care to share yours?

Aug 18th

I wish you knew I exist.

Aug 17th

"i’ve defeated my demons with a little hex i learned in chemistry and my secret: write. when you’re sad, write. when you’re angry, write. when you feel lonely, write. when you lose someone dear to you, write. when you’re bored, write. when you get your heart ripped right out of your chest, write. just write, write, and write. i have learned that you can’t create nor destroy the negative energy crawling inside your wretched veins so turn them into poetry, make them beautiful, generate something good out of life’s misadventures."

f.l., the first law of thermodynamics (via carpels)
Aug 14th  +  30    via baby's breath ― from baby's breath